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When I saw him I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One. I was dead, and behold, I am alive forever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades. (Revelation 1:17-18)
Sunday, November 4, 2007. I slumped listlessly in the choir loft that adjoins the altar. I was in the alto section, as I had been for the better part of three decades. My mind was bleary with fatigue, and my aching muscles cried out for rest, a result of working well past midnight waiting tables, and then turning around less than eight hours later for choir rehearsal.
As usual, the service began promptly at 10 a.m., with the first scriptural reading following shortly thereafter. I struggled to keep my sagging eyelids from exposing my grogginess, as I felt my body being rocked to sleep by the melodic drone of the layreader.
He began reading from the Book of Revelation, Chapter 1. In this book, the Lord sends an angel to his servant John, revealing prophetic visions of the last days, and instructing John to write them down. I always struggled through the Book of Revelation – its gory, fiery creatures with multiple eyes put me off and revealed little if anything of value to me. Now, as the lay reader droned on, I forced my eyelids to open wide, determined not to fall asleep. But there it was again, in all its confused glory – seven lampstands, a double-edged sword, and someone dressed in a robe like a Son of Man. My will to stay awake waned with each lilting sound from the lay reader. In desperation, I tried to focus my eyes on the anthem that the choir would be singing in a few minutes.
But, God had other plans as the lay reader reached Rev. 1:17-18 – “When I saw him I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One. I was dead, and behold, I am alive forever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.”
Flash! That’s the only way I can explain it. It lasted less than a second, it involved a bright light, it penetrated my soul, and I knew it was supernatural. Wide awake, I gasped and looked at the altar, then glanced around the room, as if to hold onto the experience as long as possible. I knew I had received an affirmation that I was to write a biography about my brother David Marius Guardino, the self-proclaimed “world’s greatest psychic,” who returned to his Christian roots just before he died. It was as though some spiritual being were smiling down at me, letting me know that it was pleased at my recent decision to bring this project to fruition. I understood it to mean that David himself was pleased, and that he wanted to encourage me to follow through on my commitment.
“Is that you, David?” I asked inside my mind. “Are you speaking to me from heaven? Do you see Jesus? How’s Dad? Are you both happy up there?”
Try as I might, I could not will the experience to come back. Still, my eyes filled with tears of joy as my mind reached for an explanation of what had just happened. I envisioned David – like John – kneeling at the feet of the risen Christ, who placed his hand on David and whispered, “Do not be afraid. After all, it is I who hold the keys of death and Hades, and you are here with me now.”
The Lord had put the idea of writing this book into my head only a few weeks prior. It was about 4 a.m. in early October, when I was jolted awake from a deep slumber. There was no audible voice, yet I knew the Lord was speaking to me inside my mind. I was to shepherd the family in writing David’s biography. I would base it on my mother’s journals of spiritual warfare that she fought for more than 30 years on David’s behalf. I was to tell the world of the Lord’s readiness to redeem the hopelessly lost.
“You can’t make this stuff up!” I kept thinking, in awe, as the reality poured over me that David, a self-described atheist and hedonist for most of his adult life, was truly in heaven, after all the years of evildoing.
At first I tried to deny that God was assigning me this daunting task, and to attribute it to my own ambition to publish a bestseller. Although I had been a newspaper reporter and editor for many years, I had experienced virtually no luck in publishing freelance material.
I turned over and over in my bed and wrestled with the covers for a solid hour. The message would not go away, but increased in intensity with every turn. Finally, I succumbed. I got up, switched on my computer, and began tapping out a letter to my mother and siblings telling them what had just occurred. “You can’t make this stuff up!” I wrote, and explained that this project would serve two purposes: First, it would help us to heal from the wounds that David’s bizarre lifestyle had imparted upon us. Second, it would shed light on the issue of the occult and perhaps open some eyes to the power of Satan.
Two thousand years ago, the Lord revealed to his servant John that he was to write the Book of Revelation, in order to comfort the early Christians who suffered for their faith. Now, through John’s words, the Lord was instructing me to write David’s biography, in order to fulfill His promise to my mother, Harriet Guardino, that David would serve the Lord in a big way.
I mentioned my “flash” experience to Mom and read Rev. 1:17-18 to her. I told her I believed David had contacted me from heaven. Mom was thrilled about my experience, although she expressed doubt that David himself had contacted me, since that would go against the teachings of the Bible. As a result, I began searching for an explanation of what really happened.
Thankfully, I never had much interest in the New Age Movement, which has spawned a resurgence of ancient pagan practices of seeking out knowledge from supernatural sources outside the natural ways of God. I always thought horoscopes were too general to be of use to anyone, and could never fathom paying money to have my palm read. Now I realized that my lack of knowledge about such activities had placed me at a disadvantage – how could I write about David’s career as a “psychic to the stars” if I didn’t have at least a rudimentary understanding of the occult?
Tragically, the problem of Christians turning towards the occult is ecumenical. But, since my brother grew up Roman Catholic – and he was brought back to Christ by a Catholic priest – I turned first to Catholic doctrine for answers. The Catholic Church refers to such practices as “divination,” and stands firmly against them. Not only does this include consulting high-priced psychics like David, but also dabbling with Ouija boards, numerology, tarot cards, crystals, yoga, holding séances to contact the dead, and participating in witchcraft or sorcery.
So how did this new insight fit in with my “flash” experience? After a lengthy discussion with my parish priest – Fr. David Humphrey at St. Matthew’s Anglican Church in Portland, Oregon – we concluded that it is unlikely that my brother’s spirit presented itself to me. An angel or other messenger sent by God is a more plausible explanation. Or, perhaps the Lord Himself spoke to me?
Evangelist Billy Graham, a spiritual role model of mine since I can remember, provided further insight in his book, “Angels: Ringing Assurance That We Are Not Alone,” first published in 1975, concurrent with a worldwide resurgence of occult practices. Reverend Graham notes that, although the Bible mentions angels almost 300 times, many still doubt their very existence! The book left no doubt in my mind that God sends His angels as messengers.
It is our job to listen to them.
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